The Role of Ego in Leadership Transitions: Finding the Goldilocks Zone

Ego is both an enabler and a barrier in leadership development.

A strong sense of self drives confidence and resilience, but an unchecked ego can block growth, prevent learning, and keep leaders stuck in outdated patterns of thinking.

The challenge?

Keeping ego in the Goldilocks Zone—not too weak, not too dominant, but just right.

Too little ego, and a leader lacks conviction, struggles to assert themselves, and hesitates to step up. Too much, and they resist feedback, overestimate their competence, or prioritise self-preservation over learning.

As leaders move through the Leadership Pipeline and their adult development journey, their ego must evolve accordingly. At each transition, leaders must balance self-confidence with adaptability—letting go of past identities, embracing uncertainty, and expanding their perspective beyond themselves.

Here’s how ego plays out—and how it must be managed—at each stage:

1. From Individual Contributor to Manager

The Goldilocks Ego Test:

• Too cold: Hesitates to take charge, struggles with authority, defers to former peers.
• Too hot: Can’t let go of being the expert, micromanages instead of leading.
• Just right: Confident enough to lead but humble enough to develop others.

Ego Challenge: Letting go of being the best at the work
What Happens?

• Leaders at this stage often derive self-worth from their technical expertise.
• They struggle to delegate because they believe they can do it better themselves.
• Ego tells them that their value is in doing rather than leading.

Ego Management Shift:

• Reframe success: from "I do it best" to "I enable others to succeed."
• Develop humility: Accept that others may approach tasks differently—but still effectively.
• Learn patience: Coaching and development take longer than doing it yourself.

2. From Manager to Leader of Managers

The Goldilocks Ego Test:

• Too cold: Feels uncertain in a bigger leadership role, avoids making tough calls.
• Too hot: Struggles to step back, wants to be indispensable, over-involves themselves.
• Just right: Knows when to step in and when to let others lead.

Ego Challenge: Moving from personal performance to leadership identity
What Happens?

• Leaders still want to feel needed and important, often over-involving themselves in their teams’ work.
• Struggle to transition from being liked by their direct reports to holding them accountable.
• Ego resists stepping back—it feels like losing control.

Ego Management Shift:

• Recognise that leadership isn’t about being the hero; it’s about building other heroes.
• Develop emotional resilience—realise that not being everyone’s friend is part of the job.
• Shift from operational involvement to building a leadership culture.

3. From Leader of Managers to Functional Leader

The Goldilocks Ego Test:

• Too cold: Stays stuck in the weeds, unsure of how to influence beyond their team.
• Too hot: Becomes territorial, competes with peers rather than collaborating.
• Just right: Expands perspective while valuing cross-functional success.

Ego Challenge: Expanding beyond functional expertise
What Happens?

• Leaders feel comfortable in their own function but struggle to see the bigger business picture.
• They may resist cross-functional collaboration because they want to "prove" the value of their department.
• They find it hard to influence senior stakeholders because they are used to making decisions within their own domain.

Ego Management Shift:

• Accept that the business does not revolve around their function.
• Learn to trust peers from other departments rather than competing with them.
• Develop a broader identity—moving from functional expert to business leader.

4. From Functional Leader to Business Leader

The Goldilocks Ego Test:

• Too cold: Overly cautious, struggles with ambiguity, hesitant to take big decisions.
• Too hot: Becomes rigid in their approach, pushes their own agenda too hard.
• Just right: Balances strategic confidence with open-minded adaptability.

Ego Challenge: Embracing ambiguity and paradox
What Happens?

• Leaders are used to thinking in terms of their function’s success but must now balance competing business priorities.
• They may struggle with power dynamics in the executive team, feeling the need to "win" arguments rather than integrate perspectives.
• Ego resists letting go of the functional depth that once made them successful.

Ego Management Shift:

• Move from black-and-white thinking to embracing trade-offs and complexity.
• Recognise that leadership is no longer about expertise, but about influence and integration.
• Shift from seeing power as control to seeing power as the ability to align diverse perspectives.

5. From Business Leader to CEO or Enterprise Leader

The Goldilocks Ego Test:

• Too cold: Lacks executive presence, struggles to shape vision and influence.
• Too hot: Becomes isolated, unwilling to hear challenges, overconfident in decisions.
• Just right: Balances authority with curiosity, leads with vision but listens deeply.

Ego Challenge: Letting go of personal identity for the sake of the organisation
What Happens?

• The leader’s decisions now shape the entire organisation, requiring them to detach from personal biases.
• They must think beyond short-term wins and immediate performance to long-term sustainability.
• Ego clings to past leadership styles—whether operational, strategic, or charismatic—rather than evolving to what the organisation needs now.

Ego Management Shift:

• Let go of personal attachment to any one leadership style—become what the organisation requires.
• Recognise that legacy matters more than personal victories.
• See oneself as a steward of the business, not just its leader.

The Consequence of Poor Ego Management

When leaders fail to keep ego in the Goldilocks Zone, we see:

• Micromanagers who can’t let go of execution.
• Political players who prioritise self-interest over collaboration.
• Functional silos because leaders resist broadening their perspective.
• Detached CEOs who are out of touch with the business’s needs.

The Leadership Development Solution: Training the Ego, Not Just the Skillset

Traditional leadership training often focuses on competencies but ignores the inner development of ego maturity. Truly effective leadership development must include:

• Self-awareness work (360 feedback, coaching, reflective practice).
• Exposure to discomfort (stretch assignments, working across functions).
• Psychological safety (environments where leaders can admit vulnerability and learn).
• Emotional intelligence training (helping leaders regulate reactions, build empathy, and navigate interpersonal complexity).
• Mind-body practices (yoga, meditation, breath-work) to develop focus, emotional regulation, emotional intelligence and resilience under pressure.

Leadership isn’t just about what you do—it’s about who you are becoming.

Integrating mindfulness and embodied awareness helps leaders observe their ego rather than be controlled by it. Through these practices, leaders develop the ability to pause before reacting, detach from defensive instincts, and lead with greater clarity and compassion.

The best leaders are those who recognise that their ego is a tool, not a master—when managed well, it fuels confidence and drive. When left unchecked, it keeps leaders stuck in old identities.

Final Thought:
If leadership development doesn’t include ego work, it’s just skill-building without transformation. And no amount of training can replace the depth of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and embodied leadership required to thrive at the top.